White Martyrdom

 We are into the short ‘Ordinary’ Time. The readings are a call to faith in the Word, come to make us whole. Faith is like wearing 3-D glasses. It allows us to see beyond where our reason can go. The Incarnational Mystery has been presented to us. The Word…in whom all things came to be…has married us. We have a bridegroom we cannot see…except in the faces of our brothers and sisters and in our own face in the mirror. Our senses aren’t any help. We have to rely on our 3-D faith-lenses.

The Christmas season presented Mary to us as the model of ‘pondering.’ She pondered what was happening to her. She is an expert in using her 3-D faith-glasses. She believes. She signed a blank check. She never gave in to her doubts…and make no mistake, she was tempted as are we. But she hung on by her fingernails in tough times. She was like a magnet on a refrigerator door. Try to pull it off. Feel the resistance. It knows where it wants to be. So do we. But the storms get pretty wild sometimes.

Faith at times demands a white martyrdom. There is no blood. There is just struggle. It’s like we’re frozen inside. Nothing seems able to move. We fell like a lump. The doubts swarm about us like bees coming in for the sting. The suggestion is that we are just idiots. There is nothing there…we are beating the air. Prayer is a waste of time. No One is listening. Be not deceived. Nothing can produce only nothing. But, there IS something…! Lots of something…! So…hang on…!

 The Greek word for ‘believe’ as it appears in the Gospels carries a meaning we miss in English. To believe means to adhere to, to cling, as glue does. Maybe that is what the prayer of faith is. We just hang on to God…like glue. Maybe it’s just a form of holy stubbornness.

 This faith thing can be like winter…

Cold, frozen, and dark.

Whistle in the dark,

and stick out your defiant tongue

when doubt comes at you like a cold blast.

Someone once said it well:

‘In the midst of this winter

I discovered in me and invincible summer.’

You are my safety.

I will wait for you all my life.