Loving – At White -Hot Heat

If vows added to the baptismal promises identify certain life-styles, and the counsel of poverty vowed publicly reminds the whole Church that “You can’t take it with you when you go,” what is this celibacy thing all about?

The married must be chastely celibate to all except their marriage partner. They sign the fruitful love of Christ Jesus in their marital love. But what does total celibate chastity mean for religious  who vow this counsel publicly? What does their vow of chastity mean in an age of recreational sex?

Catherine of Siena believed that poverty was the most basic of the counsels, for if the human heart if fixed on a relationship with the Holy One as its one non-negotiable, then celibate love and a listening heart fall right in place. Sandra Schneiders, IHM, takes another view. She is convinced that only someone wildly in love could vow poverty and obedience as a life-style.

I think they are both right. Catherine, from the angle of a basic value, and Sandra, from the angle of desire. Most view celibate chastity as something one does not do. One vows to fast from genital sex. But why would one do that? Only when the longing tells the person it would not be enough, when one’s desire is fixed on something more. So heated is that desire, that it stops at nothing short of union with the Holy. Nothing else will do…no matter how long I have to wait. This takes a love of white-hot heat…a love stronger than death. The totally celibate lover is a sign in the Church of its ultimate union, whatever the life-style each of us have lived.

This wild love-in-waiting can hardly be imagined in today’s world of “If it feels good, do it!” To fall in love with a beautiful human being and not have to “have” them is counter cultural. But it is real. It happens to both the married and to religious. Celibates, married or religious, know. Healthy religious celibates too are wild lovers. Ask them. You might be amazed at their stories.