The tension between fear and love for God will plague us until Jesus' message is accepted more widely. It is not only part of the history of the Catholic Church, but of many other traditions. What we don't understand, we fear. Jesus asks total trust of us. It would seem that is the only intelligent choice...either we trust him because of who he is, or we don't. What is important to keep in mind is the fact of the Holy Spirit continuing to work with us like a tender Mother, opening us ever more to a fuller truth. It isn't so much that we were "wrong" as that we are learning under God's guidance.
Your explanation to the dear man who couldn't believe in God was not far off at all. All of our images are incomplete, because we do not have full knowledge of the Mystery, so not to sweat about it. The Mystery of God is so immense and so rich that in explaining it, we simply do the best we can trying not to blaspheme. Our human person is based on God's reality, for we are in God's image. So we might begin by saying I am one entity, yet I have a mind and I act on what motivates me. No one would say there are three somethings there,..it is all ME. My mind and my actions are me, and the me is in my thoughts and actions...yet my thoughts are my thoughts and my actions are my actions, yet all is ME. Yet there is distinction here, as is plain to see. Thoughts hidden are distinct from thoughts expressed. Thoughts expressed are distinct from thoughts put into action.
God is God, yet God has a plan and a wisdom. By his "mind" or Word God created all that is. God created all that is with the design of God's mind, yet by the power of God's compassionate love. It's the same one God. The mind or wisdom of God became human (we call Jesus Incarnate Wisdom, yes?) and this happened by God's Spirit or his compassionate action. Same God. One God, yet three "Somethings: Divine hidden Mystery, Divine expressed Mystery, and Divine active Mystery. Same God, yet three Somethings simultaneously, each in the Other.
Our language is the problem. First, we need to speak of distinction, but never of separation, for the "Somethings" are distinct, but WITHIN one another in a mystery we call "perechoresis" or "circumincession." This is Greek and Latin for "a dance within a dance." So they are distinct as my thoughts expressed are distinct from my keeping them hidden. They are distinct as my thoughts are distinct from merely thinking them to acting them out. It's something like "Thinker, Thought, and Thinking." Can you separate them? Or "Lover, Beloved, and Loving." Or again, Anointer, Anointed One, and Anointing.," (You will see this in action at Jesus' baptism next Sunday.)
Finally, our term "person" is a real problem. In the 4th century when the term was chosen, it didn't have the psychological meaning it does today. A person is a completely separate entity. This is not true of the 3 "Somethings" in God, so the term doesn't work today - it causes confusion as you explained above. The Father, Son, and Spirit are not three separate entities. They are one God as a Triadic Mystery of Hiddenness(Father), Expression (Word or Son), and Active Self-giving Love (Spirit). These three are distinct, but not separate.
I suggest you begin to read the gospel with this lens. Whatever you see or hear Jesus doing, the Father is being revealed in the power of the Spirit. Watch for it...it will begin to jump out at you...!
Hugs,
Carla Mae
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